What would happen if affirmations & EFT had a love child?

 Picture it. The super positive, uplifting and energetic affirmation gets it on with the simple, powerful, and belief shifting Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

They leave caution to the wind and make sweet, sweet love. Nine months later, a love child is born, and THAT love child is going to take your affirmations to the next level.

Are you ready?

1. Today you are going to learn why saying positive affirmations alone is not enough, and how it can actually work against you.

2. I’ll share how this love child (affirmations combined with EFT) can supercharge your daily practice and transform it into what you thought affirmations did in the first place — help you achieve success in whatever you focus on.

Why can’t I just say I am happy, healthy, and wealthy when I am actually sad, overweight, and living paycheck to paycheck?

It sounds like a great idea; just tell yourself what you want and it will become reality, sort of like “if you build it they will come”...right? But if that were true, then everyone and their poodle would be fit, financially free, and all around amazeballs.

So why aren’t we all basking in the hella’ good life?

Well, the thing is, affirmations work; we just aren’t aware of the full affirmation that we are using.

According to Dr. Joanne Wood at the University of Waterloo and her colleagues at the University of New Brunswick, "repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, such as individuals with high self-esteem, but backfire for the very people who need them the most." 

Hold the phone. So affirmations are actually backfiring on those of us who need a bit more positivity, success, and optimism in our lives?

What the flip?

Dr. Wood and her colleagues go on to say that “just engaging in positive affirmations by themselves, can do harm to people with low self-esteem, and provide only little benefit for those with high-esteem, if those affirmations are not part of a comprehensive program of self-growth, preferably with a knowledgeable professional.” 

So what exactly constitutes a comprehensive program of self-growth?

There are many options to chose from, and today I am going to show you how the papa to our love child, Emotional Freedom Technique, is a simple (yet powerful) approach.

My EFT instructor, Dawson Church, explained that when we say an affirmation, our brains sometimes create a knee-jerk reaction or “tail-ender” without us even realizing it.

For example, if you say “I am fit and healthy,” but you hate your thighs and want to drop 20 pounds like it’s hot, your mind might say, “HA. What a joke, who are you kidding?!”

So the real affirmation that you are saying is: “I am fit and healthy. HA. What a joke, who are you kidding?!”

Try it for yourself. Say the following affirmations out loud and then see what your brain adds. Does your mind feel in line with it? Do you say, “ya right, when peacocks fly?”

Really listen to how your mind reacts and write down what you think.

• Abundant love fills my life.

• I deserve huge amounts of love.

• Love fills all my relationships.

• I am safe growing and changing while in a relationship.

• Giving love is effortless for me.

• Receiving love is effortless for me.

How did you do?

Did your affirmations change? I know mine sure did. Here are my answers from my EFT workshop exercise.

• Abundant love fills my life...most of the time.

• I deserve huge amounts of love...no you don’t.

• Love fills all my relationships...not really.

• I am safe growing and changing while in a relationship...I hope.

• Giving love is effortless for me...not on most days.

• Receiving love is effortless for me...and makes me uncomfortable.

I have been able to work through these tail-enders, but it was a big eye opener during the workshops to say these affirmations and capture on paper what my brain was adding to the mix without me even really noticing it.

Okay, so now you're realizing that your affirmations aren’t so rainbows and gummy bears. Can you do anything about it?

Have no fear, Mama D is here. I’m going to show you how you can take control of your affirmations and ensure they are working for you — not against you.

First things first, you need to know how to do the basics of EFT. Click play on the video below to learn the ropes.

Now that you know the basics, let's supercharge your affirmations, shall we?

1. Choose an affirmation and tail-ender to work on. For example, you might choose one from above like: I deserve huge amounts of love...no I don't.

2. Rate the tail-ender on a scale from 0-10. This is rating how much you personally believe this to be true or how strongly you feel about it. 0 means you feel nothing and 10 means it is debilitating and all consuming.

3. Create a tapping script using the affirmation and the tail-ender (see example below).

4. Tap it out, using the tapping script. You can also use your own words to make it more personal and specific. The more detailed and personal you make it, the more effective it will be. Just tap on the different points repeating the tail-ender and anything else that comes to mind.

Karate Chop Point: Even though I don’t feel I deserve huge amounts of love, I accept myself and how I feel.

Karate Chop Point: Even though I don’t feel I deserve huge amounts of love, I accept myself and how I feel.

Karate Chop Point: Even though I don’t feel I deserve huge amounts of love, I accept myself and how I feel.

Eyebrow Point: No I don’t.

Side of the Eye: No I don’t.

Under the Eye: I don’t deserve huge amounts of love.

Under the Nose: I don’t.

Chin: I don’t deserve huge amounts of love.

Collarbone: No I don’t

Under the arm: No I don’t

Top of the head: I don’t deserve huge amounts of love.

Then you are going to “maybe” the shit out of it and question this belief.

Eyebrow Point: Maybe I do.

Side of the Eye: Maybe I do.

Under the Eye: Maybe I do deserve huge amounts of love.

Under the Nose: Maybe I do.

Chin: Maybe I do deserve huge amounts of love.

Collarbone: Maybe I do.

Under the arm: Maybe I do.

Top of the head: Maybe I do deserve huge amounts of love.

Finally, do a round of positive tapping to invite that affirmation in. This is basically the point where you are saying the affirmation without any tail-enders coming up.

Eyebrow Point: Yes I do.

Side of the Eye: I do deserve huge amounts of love.

Under the Eye: Yes I do.

Under the Nose: I do deserve huge amounts of love.

Chin: Yes I do.

Collarbone: I do deserve huge amounts of love.

Under the arm: Yes I do.

Top of the head: I do deserve huge amounts of love. Yes I do.

Take a deep breath in. And let it out. Then say the affirmation out loud and see if the tail-ender still feels true or resonates with you. Maybe the intensity has gone down, or it has gone away. If there is something different or if the same one is still there but just not as strong, you can do another round of tapping.

So there you have it, a simple “love child” process that can make your affirmations kick ass and take names in as little as 10 minutes. Boo-yah!

And news flash: You can tap the shit out of anyone...including your mother-in-law. You’re welcome. ;)​

About the author: Diana (the beast) Tower aka Mama D, is the Sassy EFT Practitioner and Trucker-chic founder of www.colouryourmindset.com. 

Diana helps overwhelmed, stressed out, and exhausted entrepreneurial mamas relax, be happy and get back to being that amazing woman their husband married, before tossing a child grenade on their marriage.

If you’d like to apply EFT tapping to your marriage, read and listen to her step-by-step strategy "Tap the Sh*t Out of Your Husband: The Non-Violent Way to Reconnect and Find Intimacy with Your Man-Child without Dragging him to therapy." Diana shows you exactly how tapping can transform your marriage and inject it with fun, happiness, and more intimacy.