4 Ways to Move Past Your Emotional Pain and Feel Happier Now
Pain is good.
Now before you call me a sadist, let me explain that statement: When you experience painful events in your life, you are being provided an opportunity to grow – if you’re open and willing to embrace the painful emotions.
Pain helps us realize all the good that already exists in our life, appreciate love, and be more conscious.
That’s exactly what happened to me when I experienced two consecutive miscarriages after already struggling with infertility for about seven years.
Because I endured these clearly rough patches, I have found that even the most painful events can bring out the best (or at least better) experiences and outlooks on life. In fact, I have found that every painful event comes with a hidden blessing that can help you feel deep appreciation, love, and gratitude. But you have to be willing to actually acknowledge and feel the pain before you can move past it and uncover that tremendous gift.
My infertility struggles and miscarriages brought me to a place of authentic happiness and peace (and extreme gratitude for my daughter). I also have a renewed appreciation and gratitude for every single experience life offers me, even ones typically considered negative.
How did I come out the other side of my pain with a sense of appreciation, love, and acceptance? I started by following these four steps below.
1. Live in the present moment
The present moment is all we really ever have – because the past has already happened and the future isn’t here yet – so it’s extremely beneficial if we can learn to live in the now. I used to waste away my life with repetitive, irrational thoughts. But I now see that it’s the present moment where I should place my attention.
2. Surrender the outcome
Living in the now helps you surrender those pesky “what if” thoughts. You know the kind – What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t get the job? But there’s absolutely no way to guarantee the future, no matter how much you try or convince yourself otherwise. That admission is coming from a former perfectionistic control freak, but I have learned that although you can influence the future by taking certain steps, you simply can’t dictate a specific outcome.
3. Accept & embrace your emotions
You can’t just sweep painful feelings under the rug and hope to move past them. You have to first accept the emotions, fully experiencing – and embracing – every aspect of them before you can move past painful experiences. That’s why I really allowed myself the time and space to simply feel unhappy, sad, and depressed. But the key here is that while you must allow the emotions to exist, you have to release them so they don’t burden you.
4. Choose happiness
It’s not exactly going out on a limb to say that when you’re overcome with a painful experience, feeling happy seems like a far-off pipe dream. But even if happiness seems like a remote or impossible idea, simply commit to the idea that you WILL feel happy and joyful again. Because here’s the thing — if you don’t claim your right to be happy, you won’t be. So take whatever small action makes you feel good, even if it’s just smiling more throughout the day.