Sometimes you just have to tell SOMEone about your pain
A while ago, I had a dream that I ran into an old acquaintance of mine who I haven’t seen in years. She's a lovely person but we were never close friends, and I know little about her.
In the dream, she was walking through a hotel with her three children. She asked me how many kids I have, and when I started to say "I have one child, a daughter," I got choked up.
I could barely get the words out. Strong emotions overcame my whole body. I could feel tears welling up and about to burst out of my eyes.
But I didn't hide this sensation, even though I barely knew this old acquaintance. I also didn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed at having such a strong reaction to a simple question.
I managed to speak the words I intended, and then I burst into tears. I mean, real hard crying. Ugly face balling...you know the kind.
I told her all about how it took my husband and I more than four years to have our daughter and that I had two miscarriages after her. I even shared that we have decided to stop trying for another child and have come to peace with that decision. (You can read about my journey to become a mother as well as my infertility and miscarriage struggles in my free eBook.)
She was very supportive and empathetic, even sharing her own fertility struggles. We vowed to stay in touch (no doubt on Facebook, though those details are murky—it being a dream and all).
As I went on my way, I felt supported and understood. Even empowered.
Pouring out my heartfelt feelings about some of my deepest pain strengthened me. And it helped me heal those wounds.
It was a cathartic process that I felt deep in my body even after I woke. The message was clear to me—sometimes you have to tell SOMEone about your pain and suffering.
But don’t get me wrong...I don’t mean that we should all go pouring our hearts out to just anyone. (‘Cause, you know, the waitress at the restaurant probably isn’t the best person to hear your inner thoughts and feelings.)
Instead, share your pain and sufferings with someone you trust. If your gut is telling you that it’s safe to talk about your struggles, even if you don’t know that person very well, I say go for it.
If you don’t have someone in your life right now, that’s okay. You can “talk” to a journal by writing all your thoughts down on paper.
The point is you’ve got to get your feelings off your chest. You CAN NOT shoulder the burdens that pain brings alone. Please don't try. Tell someone, anyone (who gets the gut-check approval), about your emotional pain.
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