3 questions that can relieve your fears
We’re all afraid of something at different points in our lives. Most of the time, we unconsciously allow that fear to drive our life, dictating our choices and directing our future. And, so often, we don’t allow ourselves the time to focus on that fear and really discover what’s underneath it. Because fear itself doesn’t prevent you from growing and embracing your Soul...Whatever is BEHIND that fear is what's blocking your growth. So how can you get to know what’s going on underneath your fears? You can ask yourself a series of questions and journal your responses. Asking the questions There are three questions you can ask yourself whenever you feel fear trying to take over your life. To get started, open up your journal, find a piece of paper, or get your smartphone/computer ready. As you ask yourself these three questions, write down whatever comes to mind. This is about following your stream of consciousness, so just write honestly and authentically until you have nothing left to write. There’s no right or wrong way to answer these questions. 1. What am I afraid of if _________ happens? Write down everything you can think of related to your worries. 2. What would happen if ________ occurred? Think about all the possible outcomes if your fears came to fruition. 3. Can I guarantee with 100% accuracy that my fears will come to fruition? Consider the reality of what you’re afraid of happening. How likely is it to actually occur? Putting it into practice Let’s put these three questions into practice with an example about considering a move to a new city/state/country. There’s a job opportunity available for you; it’s your choice if you take it and leave your family and friends. If you asked yourself the three questions I mentioned above, it might go something like this. First, you ask yourself what you’re afraid of if you accept the job offer and move to the new city/state/country. You might write down that you’re scared you’ll never make new friends. Or you’re worried that you won’t like the area. Or you fear you can’t afford a nice house. Or you will be devastated as you miss your existing friends and family. Or you’re not strong enough to start over in a new place. Or your kids won’t adjust to the changes. Then, you ask yourself: What would happen if all those potential situations came to fruition? If you never make new friends, maybe you would discover new adventures with your family.
If you don’t like the new area you moved to, perhaps you could explore the surrounding region.
If you can’t afford a nice house, maybe you could downsize your belongings and learn to live in a smaller house that you can afford. Do you see how I took each negative possibility and gave it a potential positive outcome? Yes, there are still legitimate concerns about your move. But this exercise helps you see that there are also almost always solutions to your worries. For the last question, you ask yourself if you can completely guarantee that your fears will all actually happen. And I'll go ahead and answer that question for you: No, you can't. You simply cannot predict the future. Here’s the thing — fearful thoughts and concerns often arise because we try to control the outcome and the future. But if you can't be utterly sure of the outcome, then I suggest you release that outcome. Let go of your fears and worries about something you can’t control and aren’t even sure will happen. Stop believing that you can only be happy if things work out in one particular way. I bet you're wondering, well that's all fine and good, but how exactly do I let go of those worries? How do I manage to stop attaching my happiness to certain outcomes? It just so happens that that's the topic for my next blog, which I’ll share next week. So stay tuned! :) Until then, start asking yourself the three questions and see what comes forward for you.
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